Devon Smolca, MS
Love is complicated. It’s not always decadent chocolates, colorful floral bouquets and soft kisses! Love takes hard work, radical acceptance and commitment, not only to the other person but to ourselves and our own growth and development. Giving and receiving love from someone else can feel uplifting because we get a direct response from the other, we get to physically see the impact we make on their happiness and that significant other provides the same for us. Loving ourselves can be a lot more challenging because there are often less obvious rewards. But directing our love inwards can brighten our hearts and fill our inner well of love so that we have more to give. In order to truly love another, we must love ourselves first!
Whether you are coupled or single, dating ourselves can be a great way to recharge and reset our intentions to accept every part of who we are and to continue learning how to be our very best selves! Here are 3 ideas to get started:
Solo date #1: Dinner & a movie
Here’s a new spin on a classic date! Can you go to your favorite restaurant by yourself and be content with your own company? Really slow down to enjoy the tastes of your food and the calming or bustling atmosphere and observe all the emotions and thoughts you feel. The movie part is easy, just kick back and relax!
Solo date #2: Spa day
Here’s a no brainer because the relaxation we get from a massage or any kind of self care treatment be it manicure, acupuncture, chiropractic, whatever we choose, can only really be savored alone. If funds are tight, it can be a home spa day with a soothing hot bath, an engrossing book, a rejuvenating face mask and a calming foot/hand massage. Make it extra intentional by taking a half or full day off work for a wellness day. Eat some really nourishing food, rest, recharge and don’t forget to feel gratitude at the end of the day for how sacred it can be to take time just for one.
Solo date #3: Concert or museum
Put on your favorite outfit, look your finest, feel confident and go into the world to feed your soul with some culture. Is there an exhibit in town that looks provocative? How about seeing a band at a nightclub and dancing with just you? Or going big and going to the symphony? If you are coupled, maybe there is something you’ve been wanting to do or see that your partner isn’t too keen on, or if you’re single, maybe you can spend a little extra time or expense on an activity or exhibit to make it super special and intentional.
It’s not so much what we do by ourselves, but how we do it. We can reflect on what it is that makes us feel special and loved and focus on how we turn that attention inward and give that to ourselves. Whether it’s a kind inner dialogue, some positive reassurance, or a little courage to walk into a room alone and shine, the more we can learn to show up for and really be present with ourselves, the more love and kindness we have to return to others.
If you’re looking to start your journey inwards, sign up for your Noom trial today!